was referred here by the alumni organization of P.N.C.A. Very shocked
to hear Hawthorne's passing. I met Hawthorne while working at Cup and
Saucer Cafe, funnily enough on Hawthorne Street.. She was a joy to be
around, and although she was very young, it was plain to see how
advanced a soul she was for her age. I remember her stupendous and
quick sense of humor, intelligence and beauty.
I was so glad to see her begin her studies at P.N.C.A., at the time I was just finishing there. It was about ten years ago, the last time I saw her. I ran into her in the lobby. She had an unusual sense of equanimity about her while describing a parting with a boyfriend, was so mature and gracious about it.
One time at the Cafe Hawthorne said, "what if you were in an elevator, and said to the group of strangers in it.. I suppose you're all wondering why I asked you here today?". It makes me crack up, every time I think about it, for some reason I have never forgotten some of the extremely funny things she's said.
I'm sure her abundantly creative life has touched many people, and that she will do much good on the other side helping us all along, making us laugh and smile with her memory.
Always that incredible smile even during chemotherapy
click on image for larger picture
The stars in my Nevada skies are burning that much brighter now that they share your company. You will NEVER be forgotten. Thank you for touching all our lives. To have known you is a true blessing.
to you and safe
is simply heartbreaking. I knew Hawthorne from her days at the Paradox
Cafe in the early 90s. She was definitely a big part of the
there back then. I was always surprised, when we would bump
each other in town, that she would remember me and we would chat about
various goings on, etc. I would always walk away thinking
she is just such a NICE person!" I hadn't bumped into her for
many years and I am truly sorry that I won't get to again, in this
realm. Frank, I've never met you but my heart goes out to you and your
family. I am so very very sorry for your loss. Hawthorne is
radiant. Thank you sincerely for this space for our
As always, just too cool
click on image for larger picture
forwarded by Eric Pieper:
I can't begin to understand how Frank must feel. Hawthorne struggled for so long it must have been very difficult for him to watch. My prayers go out to him and his family. Without being too corny, perhaps some words from Bruce Springsteen's latest album are appropriate,
"...may your strength give us strength,
- Bruce Springsteen, 2002, "Into the fire"
I never met Hawthorne, through her father I know it would have been a
pleasure. I regularly read Frank's Web page dedicated to her and
realize she was truly a unique and special woman. On the day I heard
about her passing I was vacationing in Disneyland with my wife Maurene
and my 3 1/2 year old daughter Helen. At that moment, all my troubles
were forgotten and I realized that my family and friends are the most
important aspects of my life. I hope that I can continue to cherish my
own daughter during all the time we share together!
liked to bring her
cars out to my house. We would
wash the car and I would fix anything I could that was wrong
with it or coach her on how she could fix it herself. This one
was a real P.O.S. - I think she paid $20 for it. I remember we
had to use SOS pads to clean the gunk off of the roof and hood.
It didn't matter because the paint was mostly gone anyway. One
headlight was held in place with tape.
can't have died. The mind doesn't go there. That face, that smile -
this girl. I haven't seen her in years. There has to have been some
mistake. A mythical little slip of a girl - impish and sweet.
I take away the news of her death, she's still there in my mind like
she was yesterday. Hawthorne? Yeah I know her. She's great. And this
way, I just won't see her again. But at least I have the possibility
that I might. And yet here is this web site. She certainly deserves a
memorial like this. I have to sign on to make a mark here for her. That
I can do. And take her into my own pool of loss, carry bits of memory
into other parts of my life. And hug my kids until they squirm away
from me. I'm not going to see her again.
hawthorne, how much fun we had in the hallways and elevator of the old
pnca. we both with our long braided hair and teases and
with charmed spice flirtations. you skinny oddity with big
who became fascinated that i practiced "yoga" and traveled to nepal and
you entertained a dream of coming to teach the children even though you
were sick and knew you couldn't. sweet hawthorne, it is
to meet people as sweet and beautiful as you and i was so taken that i
dressed up as "you" for halloween, 1993 and we met at a party and
laughed and laughed and people still remember when i was hawthorne but,
i remember you. sweet hawthorne, take care wherever you are.
and yet behind it all you smile without care
and find again your immortal hour
as the sun on the beaches finds you again
as in your naked health the sun
met Hawthorne freshman year in high school and bumped into her many
years later as we walked passed one another in downtown
She stopped and said my name with the biggest smile.
She always struck me as such a genuine person and I was truly moved to hear of her passing.
I have not met you, but I have been a friend of Ann's since our PDC days. I met your beautiful daughter many times. I have been overwhelmed by the web site you created in her honor. Thank you for allowing those of us who knew her to share her battle. We are so sad that this had to happen; it's not fair. But I have to say that you made this a victory for
worked in different departments at WK, so unfortunately our paths
didn't cross often enough. But whenever we did run into each
other, you always had that warm, welcoming smile--the one that everyone
enjoyed and will always remember--and some friendly
I've wanted to be a drummer since I was a little kid, and will always
remember how you worked the kit with such spirit and style at the
agency talent show a couple years ago. It was an inspiration,
something I'll always remember, especially on the day I buy my first
was so special of Hawthorne to sign and give her book to our daughter
Mackenzie. We only wish we could have met her. We have heard so many
wonderful things about Hawthorne and our prayers and sympathy are with
both of you during this difficult time. Our children are
from God and I'm sure Hawthorne has a special place in heaven with our
maker. She will be your guardian angel and in your
forever. If there is anything we can do to help you through
time, please let us know. We will be thinking about you all
At Dad's in Hillsboro
for being such a beautiful, talented and unique friend.
thank you hawthorne for always being so honest and speaking straight from your heart.
thank you hawthorne for exchanging endless, silly kitty stories with me and not caring that we sounded like we were 12.
thank you hawth for our shopping extravaganzas and spending way more money than we should have.
thank you hawth for sharing your artistic and musical talents with us.
thank you hawth for showing us that you can experience life with the eyes of a child and the insight of a wise old woman.
thank you hawth for demonstrating that all life's obstacles and curve balls should be met with unrelenting optimism, determination and inner strength.
thank you hawthorne for showing us that giving up hope is never an option.
thank you hawthorne for being an open book; for letting us in on your life, your dreams, desires, what you liked and what you didn't --- even at 4 o'clock in the morning.
thank you hawthorne for being unabashedly, over the top silly + naughty with me whenever possible.
thank you hawth for reminding us to spend more time taking in the small things life has to offer: a passing kindness, good soup, budding flowers, how cute the drool of a cat can be.
thank you hawth for sharing the love you had with your parents. even before meeting your mom and dad everyone felt they knew them intimately and on meeting them everyone could clearly see this beautiful fruit didn't fall far from the tree.
thank you hawth for forever touching us all. you will be missed but never, ever forgotten.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
I had my first Italian soda with Hawthorne many, many, years ago with our moms. I got this great hand-me-down dress from Hawthorne that was so cool. I wore it for my first grade class picture. We never visited often enough but when we did, it was always fun. Our family isn't huge in numbers but it is huge in love and support. Let us learn from Hawthorne and live each day to the fullest and without regret.
& Amy Kretz
picked me up one Saturday to go to lunch. She was wearing a cowboy hat
and black T-shirt and moving her shoulders rhythmically to the beat of
the Luscious Jackson CD, "Electric Honey". I hadn't bought a new CD in
years and the ones I did buy were always pre-1980. (She made fun of me
for that.) After she dropped me off that afternoon, I swear I went
right to Music Millennium and bought that Luscious Jackson CD.
She makes me feel good. It's that simple. Her presence radiates. Although I would be seeing her at work on Monday, running out to buy that CD was my way of extending time with her, turning a short, little lunch into an entire afternoon.
will forever miss
you. Much love,
At Frank's father's cabin in Washington
click on image for larger picture
As I think of what a joy it has been to know Hawthorne, I am the most deeply touched by her relationship with her mother, Ann. Both have been dear friends for the past 25 years and it has been an incredible journey. As my daughters quickly grew to love Hawthorne as a playmate back then, I had the pleasure of simultaneously getting to know Ann.
As a result, I have had the opportunity to watch Ann raise the most unique and magical daughter. Although I am truly devastated to think that I will never get to see Hawthorne again in this lifetime, I feel so lucky that I will be able to see her legacy live through all of her friends and family, and particularly through Ann. As was evidenced by the many heartfelt tributes to Hawthorne at the memorial service, the underlying message was that we all must keep Hawthorne alive in our memories and continually keep her spirit alive. I know that Hawthorne was able to convey to her mother how important this was to her, and that Ann's amazing grace throughout this ordeal is evidence that she is determined to continue Hawthorne's wonderful legacy to all of us.
As a mother, she managed to pass on the most incredible qualities to her daughter. Hawthorne's wit, charm, humor and grace certainly did not fall far from the tree.
As one mother to another mother, I have come to appreciate Ann even more throughout this extremely difficult period. What a fountain of strength and support she has been to Hawthorne. I admire her so much and feel so blessed to have witnessed their amazing relationship over the years and particularly to witness how it continued to grow and evolve during these recent, most difficult months. There is always something magical about a mother-daughter relationship and Ann and Hawthorne demonstrated something that we should all strive for and that I will always admire. Having a daughter is a very special gift and Ann was as much in awe of Hawthorne as everyone who was lucky enough to have known her, and she will be a model for all of us to follow in carrying on Hawthorne's legacy.
Thank you for demonstrating the true meaning of a mother's love and for sharing Hawthorne with all of us.
only just heard of Hawthorns passing. I am so sad. She was always a
bright light in my classroom. And every time I
her since graduation she would exhibit that same sense of delight a
joy. We love her, we will miss her but her memory will ever bring light
to our lives. In your precious holy name God ,embrace our
Hawthorne Always Went Her Own Way
(Photo taken at Cannon Beach)
first met Hawthorne when she became my son Jason's first "real"
girlfriend, many years ago. I have so many memories of her
up on the bed in our guest room, talking with me about her dreams and
struggles and happiness as she sailed into young adulthood.
I immediately fell in love with this girl and loved having her around. I knew she was very special and had many gifts with which she would surely master life and all its obstacles. Her spirit and warmth and humor filled our house every time she came over. Our family basked in the light of her.
I have thought of Hawthorne so many, many times through the years and am absolutely devastated to learn of her death. It does not seem possible that such a strong current of life could no longer be on this planet.
I have never and will never forget Hawthorne. There can be no way to fully express my sadness and sorrow to learn of her death. To her parents, I commend you for creating a spirit so bright, and an everlasting image for so many of us who adored her.
a blazing comet, Hawthorne zoomed past this world way too fast - but
she lit up everyone's path along the way...we will miss her
always. I am sure from where she is, she is so
see those she loves adopting pets, falling in love, having babies,
making art, eating good food, shopping and rocking out...so let's not
disappoint her! We are thinking about all you guys!
Mary Pat and Hawthorne...... What a trio, together for those long last
hours. The three strong Cormack women, Scots through and
through. Stoic and capable they led Hawthorne's army towards
light and her freedom from suffering. I have heard from many
were with the three of you at her passing, and they were all just
dumbstruck with awe by your grace and courage. Thank you for
being there for all us, especially you, Hawthorne, because I am afraid
we were all craven cowards when faced with the loss of you and your
magnificent heart. I am proud to belong to a family graced
women such as you, Ann, Mary Pat and Thorny... Penny
P.S. I think it is so funny that Hawthorne has so many great nicknames since I remember her mother thought "Hawthorne" was nickname proof. Just proves that she was unique in every way.
At Dad's in Hillsboro
friend of mine who I rarely hear from, for some reason forwarded these
web pages to me. I opened them and was immediately drawn to
almost every entry and letter. Having never met Hawthorne, I
inspired to see how strongly each of our lives can effect so many,
simply by how we live each day. Thank you, Hawthorne, for
reminding me of my own light to give and share. I hope that I can be as
effective as you to light up the world I live in. Your spirit
joy in action and I feel lucky I got a glimpse.
never met your daughter, I have only heard wonderful things about her
from my husband who works at W+K. Both Roger and I were so touched by
the sadness of Hawthorne passing. We have two little daughters and
reading all of these notes and looking at these beautiful pictures just
makes me realize to cherish every minute given to us. I feel so sad for
you and your family. I lost my father when I was 18 and I know what the
missing piece of a Daddy and his little girl feels like. Please know
you are in our prayers and thoughts. From reading your web site you
must be filled with such pride knowing how many lives your daughter has
touched. Thank you for sharing some of Hawthorne's life with us, those
who knew her were blessed. It really makes you know what is important
in life and how we should live.
thoughts and prayers
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
thing I'd do,
is pray for time to crawl
still, for one more day
My heart goes out to you, your family, Ann, Kris, and all who had the blessing of knowing Hawthorne, she is missed greatly. On this occasion of her birthday it was very moving to see her pictures, and the best memorial to anyone's life I have ever seen that you put together for her. I always enjoyed our little visits as she came in for care, and the enthusiasm she had for life and her family and friends, and her huge warm smile, it was contagious. She has a special place in my heart. My deepest love, prayers, and sympathy goes out to you and your family. with love,
are all so lucky to
have Hawthorne as our co-worker and mostly friend.
Every moment with her was a delight!
The thing I will miss most about Hawthorne is her ability to have a conversation that could lead to just about anything.
loved that about
could be no way for any of us to fully understand what you and her
mother have gone through with Hawthorne's illness and death, and will
continue to go through for all of your lives. But, it helps us to think
we help you in some small way by telling you and Ann, in our own words,
just how much Hawthorne meant to us.
knew from the moment I met Hawthorne that she was one of those rare and
special people. We all know just a very few of those kinds of people,
and the only, and I mean the only, comfort I can possibly feel in her
death, is that I believe she experienced life more fully and with more
openness than the average person. I tell myself that she
uniquely full life in
Hawth at around 16
used to work with Hawthorne at W+K, and I had heard that she passed
away awhile ago. Before and since, I've thought of her often. She was
one of the brightest, shiniest, beautiful people I've ever met. I would
like to think she wouldn't mind if I called her "friend." I don't think
it really hit me, though, until today. Sometimes grief does that -
shows up when you aren't paying attention. I was doing some volunteer
work at Dove Lewis today and I was putting together thank-you letters
for donations. I just sat there, stunned, my eyes welled up with tears
when I realized many of them were in remembrance to Hawthorne. I just
wanted to share with you that she touched me, that I am sad because she
is not here, and that thinking of her makes me smile (often!).
and love and
is the type
person who inspired, warmed your heart, and always
looked into the bright sides of life.
How Hawthorne affected my life: I arrived at PNCA an ego maniac of an artist and person, which didn't payoff at all, but nevertheless, I was stupid, reckless with relationships, and highly unproductive. I guess I just wanted what everyone else wanted, to be admired and to be loved, but I wasn't aware at the time how I was being to myself and others... Anyway, I was in screen printing class with Hawthorne and I lived next door to her when she dated and lived with Cheyenne. While I was working in the studio one day, she simply said, "Wow, I appreciate your work. Do you want to trade some art?" She was the first person in the entire school that was able to really look past my bullshit and realize I was just human being, just trying, not knowing who I was being, and she just accepted for who I was. Now, I realize how valuable moments like that are, and how I can really appreciate relationships. I was honored to trade work with her, and I still have her work to this day, and I am better man and being from her thoughtfulness and love.
Hawthorne had a clean, brisk physical grace and appearance about her. So to visit her while her head was sheen from chemo didn't strike me as something out of character. True to her self, during that visit her ideas still sauntered and mingled amongst the furniture of life as a cat would. Thoughts were fluid in their passage; the conversation stopped and scratched poignantly when apropos. Maybe Hawfie was putting on a show for my brother and I, mustering her energy before closing the visit on a wet mid-winter night in Northeast Portland. Not our job to delve; her burden alone.
Hawthorne and I used to rendezvous at her brick house on Alameda Street after school; we didn't attend the same school. Yes, two pubescents with the run of the house - alone. It was clumsy and exciting, and nothing you'd figure. We read Kerouac and haiku, discovered the intricacies of a stone or each other's foot, thumbed through and played records we were thirty years too young to enjoy. She showed me her watercolors and the tools by which to make them yet she never painted during those afternoons. It was clumsy and exciting in spite of the fact that the most risqué; occasion was studying a Land O' Lakes butter package that was modified such that the squaw's kneeling knees were coyly transposed to under a flap on her chest, thereby emulating breasts.
It was the sort of idle innocence and curiosity that spawns brilliance of heart and mind. Lamentably, her body stumbled while supporting the other two. May I, for the rest of my days, be clumsy and excited as to do right by my friend Hawthorne.
going on seven months now and not a single day has gone by that she
hasn't been on my mind. Usually she's my first thought when I wake
up. Usually I just lay there, not wanting to face the
Then her voice tells me to get the hell up. "Why are you so
depressed when you have so much to live for?" It's a dilemma
knowing how much she loved her life, knowing that she's not here and I
still am. She was so good at it. I live everyday in
honor. What would Hawthorne do? That's the
go. She would do it better, of course, with more flare,
conviction. But I do it the best I can. I'm getting better at
this living fully. I miss you so much Hawthorne. So much.
name is Bien. My son, Adam, was killed in a car accident a
ago today. Like Hawthorne, he was only 29 years
young to die, but he lived a full and complete life. I am
Hawthorne's life, though short, was a complete one as well.
Although I don't know you, I can tell that Hawthorne was loved and
cherished by her family and friends. Adam was beloved by so
as well, and that has been my life-line during these painful
days. His friends created a website in his memory
yours, and I go there everyday to read and re-read the posted messages.
I need to keep him alive a little longer this way because he was taken
so suddenly from us. I need this outlet to say goodbye to him
Although we share the same fate of losing our children, I cannot presume to know your pain. We all process pain differently, but I hope yours is diminishing with the passage of time, so they tell me. I take comfort in the quotation at the top of the page that says "I think not how lonely I shall be when you're gone, but rather how empty my life would have been had you never come." Thank you for sharing that sentiment.
Hawthorne's friend, Lauren Ranke, was one of Adam's friends, and she directed me to your website. God bless you--God bless us both.
just want to say that I am terribly sorry for your loss. By reading her
web page I can see how wonderful she was and always will be in the
hearts of the people who loved her and were blessed to have known her.
of love from
Thank you very much Mr. Hunt, for answering me. Until yesterday afternoon I did not know anything about your lovely daughter, I cried a lot while reading about her, your family, seeing her beautiful photos, her art work which is really wonderful, I felt like If I were invading her privacy, I thought, it's incredible, here I am in Madrid getting to know about a girl's life so far away from here. I can understand why you are so proud of her, she must have been so beautiful inside and out..with the most beautiful smile. What happened to her was so unfair, I am very sorry.
I will pray for her and your family and friends.
My name is Melissa and my sister forwarded me this web page. I don't know how she came across it. Hawthorne and I were friends when we were little. I'm guessing about 6 or so maybe. I lived a block away from her in NE Portland on 46th street. I am so sorry for your loss. Hawthorne was special even way back when I knew her. The one clear memory I have of her was in her basement we were putting diapers on baby dolls. I know it's not much of a memory but it's the one specific thing that comes to mind. Your web site is a beautiful tribute to her. I will be praying for your family.
We haven't met, and I actually never met Hawthorne in person; just a couple emails to send her positive thoughts last year while she was fighting.
I wanted you to know that I and many others continue to think of Hawthorne. I personally wanted you to know that as the 1 year mark comes close, I appreciate where your thoughts must be.
I hope you can take at least some comfort in knowing I, and many others, are thinking of you (and Ann) and are sending you our most positive thoughts.
Best wishes to you and your family.
PS: I haven't deleted the messages from Hawthorne.
it really been almost a year since she passed away? i have dozens of
memories of hawthorne... this one in particular is of playing music
(loudly..) at the studio where Ed and i lived (that thing she did with
the bass drum's pedal....) in industrial northwest above the spot where
Orlo called home, across the street from the aluminum galvanizer...
One time when we were bringing her gear into the living room ,the stand for the one of drums got stuck in my bellybutton ring, yanked it out, and damaged the ring beyond repair..There was no blood, but hawthorne and i took this as an omen to take a beer break. while we drank a couple cold cans, she took one of her earrings out of her ear and slid it into the empty hole in my navel...it was there for years..since 1994 i think, until a few months ago it broke when it snagged a sliver of bedsheet in the middle of the night. i no longer have a piercing but i kept the earring.i..(as well as some kick ass pieces of art work...) can't believe it's been almost a year.
lived in a house
built in 1914
Downstairs in the basement was a washing machine
Surrounding dirty clothes was a cold dark space
But it was warm and bright whenever she came to our place
miss that girl
boyfriend Jeff a shiny new guitar
miss that girl
to my basement we
took those guitars
miss that girl
time I saw
Hawthorne I was rushing for a flight
miss that girl
is still a strong source of inspiration in my life. This place where
people share thoughts with each other about her impact on their lives
will leave a profound impact on us all. It's sanctuary for us renew our
spirit with hers. The more our spirit grows the clearer we are able to
see her in this wonderful place where she resides which is in our heart.
came across this page by accident. I couldn't help but write, as
succinctly as possible, I wish I'd known her and what a great time she
must have had in life with all of you in it.
have spent the past hour reading all of the memories and stories of
Hawthorne and am I reminded how thankful I am to have met her, even if
it was only briefly. Thank you Hawthorne for continuing to touch us and
remind us what really matters.
In Middle School
When you were little and I had to travel
We agreed to both look at the moon every night
Look at the moon and think of each other
Look at the moon so we could be together
Look at the moon and say each other's names
Look at the moon and be connected
Now every time I see the moon I think about you
It's been a year and a half
it seems like forever.
I know that you are looking at the moon too
I feel your presence
Wherever I am moon
Big fat full moon
Skinny new moon
Cloud covered moon
Wet rainy windy moon
I still look at the moon
truly wish that I could have had the pleasure of knowing your
daughter. I sat at the computer and cried when I read all of
wonderful letters written to her. I'm sorry for your
It made me stop and think about how short our life on this earth is and
how we need to be living it to the fullest. It also made me
to hug my children a little closer and to be a more kind and patient
mom. Thank you for sharing and for letting me have a peak
The memory and the joy of living. Thanks. Excuses my English.
been here for
awhile. I miss you Hawth.
Hawthorne Continues to Impact People's Lives. Click HERE
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